Mosting is a form of ghosting. We show you what it is, how you can protect yourself from the phenomenon and get rid of your feelings of guilt. If you want to get your mind off these things you can try online casino.
When a loved one breaks off contact out of the blue, this is known as mosting – a combination of the dating phenomena of love bombing and ghosting. The person first pretends to be in love with you, but then drops you the next minute. This happens without warning and can also be associated with an abrupt break in contact.
If you are affected by mosting, don’t blame yourself. In most cases, the other person is to blame. However, you can protect yourself by paying attention to certain behaviors in the other person.
Mostly insecure characters engage in mosting
People who engage in mosting usually have an unstable character. People who engage in mosting want to boost their own ego. According to the AOK, a sudden break in contact usually has the following psychological causes:
- Insecurity and lack of (self-) confidence
- Possibly a lack of emotional intelligence
- Fear of potential devaluation
- Fear of attachment, fear of losing independence
- Fear of interpersonal confrontations and conflict situations
Although people who engage in mosting appear confident and self-assured at first glance, they are usually not. The longer the relationship lasts, the more this becomes apparent. In most cases, the person’s behavior has nothing to do with you.
Mosting: how to deal with it
Activities and distraction help you to come to terms with a relationship. If you have been the victim of mosting, you are often left with heartache and unanswered questions. In this case, it might help to contact the person again and ask them about their motives. It is important not to fall for the person again and not to give them a second chance. If the person continues to ignore you, you should end the matter without talking to them.
Try to distract yourself with things that are good for you. According to the AOK, the following strategies can help you to end the relationship:
- Don’t blame yourself and don’t look to blame yourself.
- Realize why it’s good for you that the relationship didn’t last; this way of being together didn’t suit you and didn’t allow for appreciative communication.
- Don’t keep thinking about why you were bullied. Let go and end the relationship.
- Look for someone who matches your wishes and expectations.
How to protect yourself
Lowering your expectations of signs of mosting can protect you from grief. There are several ways to recognize whether a person is mosting you:
- The person makes big promises to you after a short time, such as marrying you, starting a family or similar (future faking). This is typical love bombing behavior. Listen to your gut feeling as to whether the other person is being honest or manipulative.
- The other person may start talking about love after the first date or two. This may be due to an impulsive or naive temperament, but it can also be an indication of mosting. Pick up the pace if you think the introductory phase is too fast and too short. The other person should show understanding for this.
- If you feel that the person is ignoring your messages for too long, confront them about it the next time you meet. If they show no understanding or avoid your questions, this may be due to a lack of interest.
- On the contrary, the moster may want to be in constant contact with you and spend time with you all the time. If it’s getting too much for you and you’re even neglecting your family and friends for him/her, talk openly about your needs.
